Gutters Full of Rain...

So Now What?

Well....I'm finally here. I'm happy.

It has taken me a while to get back to this place but I'm finally here. I can look at myself in the mirror and be happy with what I see. I don't really cry anymore thank god....I had enough of that. I don't think about last semester too often anymore either which is great. I think more and more about the future. I've started to wonder where I will be in a year. Usually I would be able to answer that question and now I can't. Five months ago the fact that I couldn't answer that question would have scared me....now it makes me excited. I'm excited to think that there are endless possibilities for me. I can do whatever I want with my life. No one is holding me back.

So now what do I do. I can't very well just sit here and wait for things to happen but I'm still stuck in Maryville so I can't exactly do a whole lot either. I guess there is one thing that I really want to do. I want to get in shape. I want to be in the best shape of my life. I want to run another marathon. I want to tone my body and be happy with how I look. So....here is the deal I guess. I'm going to start running again. I'm going to start eating right again and I'm going to start doing pilates again (trust me it works). I need to do this for myself. The past three and a half months have perhaps been the worst of my life and I've gained a lot of weight as a result...but they are over. I've come out the other side and now I'm going to do whatever it takes to lose the weight that I gained and maybe some more.

My new goal is to be happy with the way that I look by the summer. I'm leaving for New Zealand on May 26th and I want to be happy with the shape that I'm in by that time. That is my new goal and it is going to take a lot of will power but I'm going to do it.

Maybe the past three months have been so tough because I lost the will power to really do anything. There were days when I didn't even want to get out of bed. There were days when I just didn't want to do anything. But that is over now....officially. I'm over it and I'm moving on. So I think that once I get started running again the will power to eat right will come with that.

If there is anyone out there that reads this who has any diet advice for me or any workout advice for me....please do not hesitate to send it my way. I would really appreciate it. Thanks everyone.

That is all for now....good night blogspotters....I hope you are all content and happy.

posted by Linz @ 8:36 PM